Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Can't Wait for it to be OVER!!

Only problem is... it hasn't even begun.

I'm having mixed feelings today about Mr. S deploying soon. One minute, I'm proud of myself for holding it together while he's been gone (despite BOTH cars each having a flat tire on the same day) and thinking "I can do this!"He'll be gone just about the same amount of time as he was in Ranger School, and yet the days don't seem to drag on like they did back then. It seems strangely easier this time, maybe because I know that this separation ends soon. I'm not sure I'll feel the same way when he leaves for so much longer.

I hate the thought of him leaving. I know letting him walk away on that day is going to be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. With that being said, I can't wait for his homecoming. I remember when he was in training in Germany and we hadn't even been able to speak to each other in about 2 months; the excitement that bubbled up inside me when he finally came home made me tingle from head to toe. I remember jumping into his arms after a mere month in Ranger School and crying into his neck, mixing my tears with the gunpowder residue still on his skin. Each one of these times, I had that same feeling that I did on our wedding day. I remember seeing him, and suddenly there was no one else in the room; all that mattered was how quickly I could get to him. (Trust me, Mr. S still teases me that I practically ran down the aisle to him.) I can't wait for the feeling again.

In a way, I think we're blessed that we live this lifestyle. The monotony of every day life leaves people numb and unappreciative of the relationships they should hold most dear. Between deployments and training, we truly cherish every second that we get to spend with each other, even if we're just watching movies in our pajamas or grocery shopping; we wouldn't have it any other way.

"Live each day like he's deploying tomorrow."

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